You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
