apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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