If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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