that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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