I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
