The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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