if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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