I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
