After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
