It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
