i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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