I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
