Please, let me fuck your mom
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
