I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
