I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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