she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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