But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
