butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
