Banned from zoo.
Again?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
