I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
