and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize