Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
