hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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