so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
