Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
third nipple confirmed
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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