Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
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