Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize