i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
