I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
