marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
