the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
