is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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