One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
