hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
