Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I enjoy the company of your penis
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