he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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