Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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