She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize