Cold hands, warm shart.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize