I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Dick very happy bro
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize