She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We had sex on a dog bed..
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
