how do flat chested girls get laid?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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