So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
