Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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