she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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