I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize