I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
