At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We talked him into tasing himself.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
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