I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
