i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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