we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize