I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She's the barista slut.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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