Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
