Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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