I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
