Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My dick has a subreddit
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
