Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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