Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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