i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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