I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
