well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
