The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
