Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
