You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
