Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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