she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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