Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
