You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
