K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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