So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
