nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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